TreeCouchMarket Prophets - Because You Clearly Need Advice from Unreliable Sources

Expert guidance from the most unqualified professionals in the forest.

Our Prophets

• Prophet Bob
• Prophet Sally
• Prophet Larry

Don't ask us how we ended up here. We just kind of... sprouted up.

Our prophets are available 24/7, except on Tuesdays. Those are usually spent in meetings.

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Don't try this at home, kids. Seriously, do not try this at home.